I wasn’t Hers. And, She could never be Mine.

I never knew I could love someone that much until I met her..
And, you know what?
I wasn’t hers.. And, she could never be mine..

 

I saw her that day..
Conversation hummed in the crowd as she sways her way out towards her tribe..She was drop-dead gorgeous in her chalk-white strapless dress adorned with her carmine heels. I was spellbind by her beauty.

I loved looking at her. It was something that I couldn’t explain nor say aloud.

It’s been three weeks since I treated her like crap, she didn’t deserve that from me.
But, what can I do?
My feelings were getting overboard for her.
How could I ever tell her? How could I ever believe that myself?

And, I lashed out at her on something so stupid because I needed to keep her away from me.

She has made new friends now.
She’s different.
I am amazed of how she pulled out her strength and is feeling so much joy now.
She was not even looking at me; it was as if I never existed for her.
She was ignoring me till I fade and, I deserved that.

I can’t keep my eyes off her.
That smile.. I gazed at that smile. It’s that smile which attracted him in the first place. Her simper smile which made her blue eyes brightened more.
Her cheeks rosed as she was grinning from ear to ear with that guy.
I felt a sharp pang of jealousy.
Men were always hovering around her like bees.
It wasn’t her impeccable beauty which kept the men coming back for her; it was her everything.

I watched her dissolved in laughter, flipping her thick black curly hair like a shimmering mermaid who glowed like moonlight on the darkest night.
She looked so beautiful.
She had everything that I ever wanted in my soulmate.
And, I can never have her ever.

I closed my eyes, listening to her melodious, cheerful giggles.

I wanted to take her back home and open my soul to her. I wanted to rock her like a baby in my arms, and tell her my darkest secrets. I wanted to share my deepest wounds and cry with her.

And, as I opened my eyes, all I wanted to do was to love her.

Her hazel eyes shifted on me for a second before she turned away.
That moment held my breath.
She knows why I behaved like this. Like a Dick.
I know.
But, we can never say it aloud.
I had never felt that way about another woman, not even about my own fiance.
Yes, I was engaged.

Now, you know why she just could never be mine.. And, why I wasn’t Hers.

 

Feeling lost? Get Yourself Back!

Ever got to a point in life where you felt lost? 
Like, something was missing…and you felt like you were losing yourself? 

Life is so unexpected.
It never goes the way we want. The way we planned it.

Now, I’m not saying that we shouldn’t plan anything in our lives.
Make things happen, but be ready to deal with unexpected stuffs too.

And, sometimes in a moment, life changes.
We get a new job. New work environment.
New relationship comes by.
A new social circle.
Money.
It can be anything which just drops out of the universe.

Now, we get so caught up in this “new” thing that just happened to us, that eventually we start to lose ourselves.
This happens because we are trying to adapt to that “new” thing that just happened to us – it’s freaking awesome.. that soulmate love is finally here! Or, my dream job is finally here!

It’s called the honeymoon phase in a new relationship where everything is beautiful.
But, what happened when the phase fades?

The reason why it is important to stand up your ground always.
It’s human nature to get caught up in new stuffs happening around you 🙂

So how do you NOT lose yourself in the process? 

  • You’re responsible for your happiness. Put Yourself First (PYF)

pexels-photo-214573

NO!
Putting yourself first isn’t selfishness!
It’s Self- Love.

We have only one life.
And, we all deserve the best of happiness.

Always ask yourself this –
“Does it makes me happy? ”
If the answer is no, then don’t fucking do it!

If it’s yes, then Just go for it! And, let the universe take care of the rest! 

  • Don’t let go your “self-love time”. 

pexels-photo-179912

It’s normal to get caught up in your new, busy , routine life in the beginning.

But, seriously – Get Your Shit Together when your life has settled down.

Your “me” time? Don’t let it go for anything..
It is so important to have your self-love time every day.

Do what you love every single day of your life 🙂
It doesn’t have to be a big thing.. what do you love?

Just do it!!!

Because, that’s who you are!

  • Be You. Always. 

pexels-photo-245239

When you enter a new environment, a new circle of life, it is normal to feel yourself being moulded to this particular environment.
And, along the way you may feel like losing yourself just to adapt to this.

You gotta be comfortable with this –
“People will judge you. They will laugh. Criticize. Make you feel inferior. Or that you’re not good enough.”

When you come across those kinds of people, this is actually the universe telling you that these are not your people who will make you grow.
And, it is at this time that you gotta be yourself more.

Stand up your ground. 
You’re unique. Different. 

But, you know what? That’s what makes you awesome!

The right people will cherish you 🙂

 

 

 

The TimeLine of Your Life ~ Stop Playing with It!

The Timeline of Your Life

What is that?

Did I mean the timelines that Barry Allen keeps changing? Am I talking about The Flash here?
Nopes.

Though I would love to dedicate a blog post to Grant Gustin, but today isn’t the day.
I am however using the concept of The Flash’s timeline here.

See, you all agree with me that there is a higher power out there, everywhere.. Some call him God, others the Universe, some the Higher Force or your intuition or that thing which is inside you.
But, it’s here.. Right?

I call it the Universe. 

The universe loves us, seriously it loves us & it always guides us, talks to us.
The trick is to listen carefully.

Most people spend their whole lives never actually listening to their intuition.
Then, they complain to the universe of why their lives are like this & why this other someone is lucky.

The universe wants the best for us.
Only the best.

But, the best doesn’t come easy.
If it was easy, it wouldn’t be called the “best”.

So, why is that very few people experience extraordinary love, utmost success in career and the rest is just exceptionally beautiful for them?
While most people just have a normal life?

 

Simple Answer.
They didn’t screw up the timeline of their life.
In other words: They didn’t settle for less than they deserve.

Let’s take an example:

Meet Jim.
And, since the universe wants only the best for him, Jim’s timeline would probably look like this.

0001

But, what actually happens with most people is this:

The best doesn’t come easily, you need to show the universe that you’re not settling.
So, Jim waits for the career that he loves but then, the society starts to be a dick to him.

“Why is Jim still at home?”
“SO, you failed at your degree, that’s the reason why you are not getting any job?”

Now, if Jim says am not settling, the best is coming.
Then people say,
“you’re very stupid! who waits? This isn’t how things work! You need to accept what you get! Else, you won’t achieve anything!”

And, everyone starts making Jim feel stupid, weird and a loser.

And, poor Jim eventually give in & accepts that this how things work.
He need to accept any job, even if he knows he’s not going to be happy there.
So, Jim Settles.

When you settle, you send a message to the universe — something like this:

“Hey Universe! I’m gonna take this job because I don’t think I deserve the best. So, we’re good. You can give it to someone else”

And, the universe receiving your message LOUD & CLEAR, is definitely going to give the BEST to someone who is AWAKE to take it.

And, what happens to Jim?
The old usual shit.
“I hate my job”
“Mondays suck!”
“When is Friday coming?”

And, then Jim blames the universe – ask why he doesn’t get what he wants. He complains almost everyday.
Now, it’s the universe fault for the action that he took.
Great!

What’s the use Jim?
What’s the use of living on this earth if we’re not happy inside & outside?
It’s a complete waste of Life.

People find it hard to NOT settle.
They fear. Of how the society will label them.
They fear of “what if I end up like shit”

But, it’s actually a good thing that people like Jim doesn’t get the BEST.
See, if you are not patient, strong and have the balls to stand up for yourself, & stick up to knowing what you WANT,well how are you going to get the best?

You wanna grow up & succeed? Be willing to stand ALONE.

Am gonna leave this article with something that Michael Jackson used to do..
Michael used to get inspiration for his songs at 3 am. He used to wake up and just hear the words flowing in the head.
And, he used to call his manager at that time to tell him about it.
Manager: “Michael, it’s 3 in the morning. Let’s talk about this tomorrow”.
And, Michael would say, NO. THIS CAN’T WAIT.

I need to write this down NOW.
Else, someone else is going to get it.

The universe wants to give you the BEST & is doing it.
But, if you are not willing to make an effort, be strong and take it, the BEST is going to go to someone else who is AWAKE & ready to take it.

 

Goodbye 2015, You’ve been a Real Teacher

2015 been a really important year in my life. It was the year where I had the most difficult situations to dealt with, where I lost many good friends and relationships fell apart but, amidst all of these, at the end of the day, it only taught me lessons of life ; lessons which only made me grow.

  1. Everything happens for a reason

pizap.com14515765797351

One of the most used phrases which is actually true. I experienced it this year ; whether good or bad, there’s always a reason why some stuffs are happening. No need to stress yourself out if something bad is happening; most of the time bad stuffs appear because there is a lesson to be learned and to grow.

And, if you’re not getting what you want, believe that the Universe has reserved something better for you.

Funny story; I really wanted a perfect birthday this year but wasn’t getting the dress that I wanted nor the shoes. My birthday month and preparations were going in a wreck and by each passing day, I was feeling more disappointed and less excited. The happiness reduced till I gave up on my perfect birthday.

I kept asking the universe why I am not getting what I want.

When the big-day arrived, I received a priceless gift, something of utmost happiness which I didn’t expect at all. All those disappointments and frustrations of having the “perfect birthday” disappeared.

This is when it clicked me- The universe loves me. I didn’t get what I wanted because the Universe had better awesome plans🌍

2. Letting go is easier than holding on to something which doesn’t bring you happiness

shutterstock_119794141

I always feared of letting go, was always holding on things and trying to make them work even if they weren’t bringing me any happiness.

But, what I learnt is that holding on things which doesn’t bring you happiness is useless. letting go is easier than holding on.

You don’t always have to make things work. Sometimes, we just need to let go and trust the universe 🌟

3. Follow your dreamspizap.com14515772284281

The society in which we live shapes our behavior and future. From the day I started school, I was taught that we need to get a college degree and work till we retire. That’s what I did.

When I was completing my university degree, I kept asking myself what I was doing. I wasn’t happy inside me. My friends were always working hard to get a job, even if that wasn’t their dreams.

But I couldn’t stay like this. I started searching, listening to inspirational leaders like Deepak Chopra, Vishen Lakhiani and it made me realized that the only way to be happy within me, is to follow my dreams.

It’s natural to have fears about leaving the specific rules of society and follow your dreams. I found out that everything that I’ve ever wanted is on the other side of fear.

So, go ahead, conquer your fears & live up your dreams! ✨

4. Life is beautiful, we complicate itpizap.com14515782353041

Indeed!

Life is wonderful! It’s us who complicates things in life. I learnt that Complaining about your life is not going to get you anywhere, taking actions will.

If you’ve taken a decision about your life, be strong enough to face the consequences associated with that decision ; whether its work, family or relationship. You cant blame or hate life for the decisions that you have taken yourself.

You always have a choice. You always have a solution. Right now, you have Everything that you need to make your life beautiful. You just have to take the leap 💙

5. Fill yourself with positivity

pizap.com14515799239521

When you start your day on a positive note, your outlook of life changes. It doesn’t have to be big things happening in your life. Wake up, feel the Morning breeze, the chirping of birds, the laughter of your kids. have your coffee outside or take a walk. Feel that positive energy everyday. It really helps.

Happiness  comes from within, not from people or material stuffs.

6. Self-Love 

pizap.com14515809321081

My biggest lesson of 2015 – Self Love!

The biggest relationship you can ever have is with yourself.

You can’t give love to other people unless you are full of love. If you don’t love yourself, you’re going to expect love from other people and when those people don’t meet your expectations, you feel frustrated, disappointed and end up being miserable.

Find time for yourself everyday. Do things that you love. Relaxing in the bathtub? A nice coffee? Playing with your pet? Reading? It could be anything that you love. Make a list of every little things that gives you happiness and just do it!

Self- Love is very important for personal growth. Build a relationship with yourself!❤️
Liked the post? Subscribe or, comment and share with me your biggest lessons of 2015!

Wishing you all a very Happy New Year 2016🎉🎉🎉